Birthday Tea and Super Hero’s

Yet another fabulous weekend:

On Friday I watched Sleeping Beauty, the ballet, at the Artscape Opera House. This was my first time at a proper ballet (with all the sparkly costumes etc.), and I thought it was brilliant. To all those losers who I invited and didn’t come and left me to go on my own, you guys really missed out. The orchestra was great and the dancers were well…they can do impressive things like stand on their toes with one foot in the air. It was by far the most graceful thing I have seen. Naturally I was one of about 10 brown people that were there which felt a bit odd, but they (the non-brown people to be politically correct) were really nice telling me to move in closer from my seat at the edge of the row to ones closer to them. It really was a great experience and I’m looking forward to going to another ballet.

On Saturday I had KFC for the first time in months, and boy was it good. I have decreased my KFC consumption because I’m pretty sure that the Streetwise 2 Meal is solely responsible for the ten kg’s I can’t lose. In the evening my wonderful boyfriend took me out for dinner to this restaurant to celebrate the day before my birthday (the restaurant was not opened on Sunday, which was actually my birthday), and I had a great time trying to pickup yummy dumplings with smooth and shiny chopsticks. The food was a bit pricey but really tasty. The service wasn’t that great I’m pretty convinced that the waiter messed up my main meal order off Beef and Tofu and gave me just Tofu. I didn’t say anything about it to the waiter but it does erk me a bit now. But the Tofu was really good anyways. I must confession though that the KFC eaten at 14:00 may have ruined my appetite for dinner.

Sunday was by far the best, I went shopping and because it was my birthday Dre stayed at my side while I looked through about twenty racks (earning him 300 brownie points). After that Dre took me for High Tea at the Mount Nelson Hotel. What a great experience, cheese cake everywhere, chocolate éclairs, finger sandwiches, and great fruit salad. Very friendly staff! I thought I paced myself well, I went four rounds and the final blow was the cheese cake. To finish of a great day Dre and I watched X-Men 3, what a great movie, so sad that someone important had to die, it was almost as bad as when that really important character in Harry Potter was killed in book 6.

Thanks to all my friends for remembering the day that god and my mother blessed this world with me and to Dre for making this a great birthday weekend. I truly do live a charmed life. Ok, so maybe my weekends are charmed, but they give me something to look forward to when I roll out of bed into the freezing morning at 6am and get ready for another miserable day at the office. Oh, almost forgot thanks Mom and Dave for the beautiful flowers.

A Good Game.

As promised a mildly funny story:

Last week, literally minutes before the kick-off for the Champions League Final between Barcelona and Arsenel, I was multitasking my way (speeding down the stairs, listening to voice-mail, talking with Dezza who witnessed the entire thing) to Nova’s house to watch said game. I slipped on the manically wet and smooth stairs, and bounced down three steps on my tail bone. You would think that my ever expanding bottom would have cushioned the fall, but for some reason the fat that I had been packing on for months malfunctioned. This makes me wonder what the point of eating so much is when it does not work for you. While bouncing my ass down the stairs my phone was knock out of my hand and fell 1 floor. Like a typical slave to technology the first thing I asked for when I could think past the blinding pain in my bottom was where is my phone. Now I must give a shout out to Sony Ericsson for making such a durable phone that after this violent fall only sustained minor injuries (20 or so scratches), and was still functional after I switched it on. Dezza being the gentlemen that he is picked me (and my phone) up and swore to never mention this to anyone. I turned to go back to our flat (to nurse my aching rear) before I realised that he was going to watch sport and drink beer with two other guys and that a funny story about Spice falling down the stairs would fit in perfectly. I turned and walked on (actually hobbled) to Nova’s house to make sure that my good name would not be blemished by this scandal. True to his word Dezza never said a word, and I stood for the first 15 minutes of the first half before a caved and gingerly lowered my bottom into a beanbag. I was wearing my favourite shoes when this happened and I maintain that it was the bubble gum that caused this and not the fact that these shoes have little to no grip when wet. A week and bit after, my ass still hurts, I think I bruised my tail bone (not if that is possible, need to check that with Dr. D).

Incidentally on that same night Barcelona beat Arsenal 2-1, and it was a really good game.

The end is here.

So yesterday, was not the one of the greatest days in my history (ask Dre & Dezza)! I wrote IT a response yesterday and sent it. My mail was filled with criticism. I basically had my say, called him out about not being prompted and mentioned the incident. I sent it off just before I left, so I wasn’t around when he read it. To his credit he wrote a pretty decent email back. I’ve decided to that this one was good enough. I’m not going to post the emails because I’m tired of the three people that read this blog bitching about not respecting ITS privacy. But I will tell you that he accepted all the criticism and said that he will try and change. He was not at work today so I can’t tell you if the mood in the office has changed. To those of you who said that I should of just accepted the first apology, and what more do I want from him. What I wanted was honesty and in this last email I got that.

In my next blog entry there will be a stale and mildly funny story. Oh go and check out Fifi's new ad at Cape Weddings, they grow up so fast one day a cute little ballerina the next day swinging around a pole.

Gourmet Escape Codes

Yet another good weekend to help me forget the miserable feeling I had on Friday. Watched 2 episodes of CSI Miami on Friday evening, with the boyfriend (who from henceforth will be called Dre, as requested).

On Saturday went to the travel agent to make arrangements for my trip with Dre to Europe. It’s going to cost an arm and maybe a lung but I think it’s going to be amazing. Of course planning is a mission.

We then went and watched this movie, I must admit that I was a bit disappointed. It didn’t pace as well as the book, maybe I was expecting too much. If you just want to watch a decent movie then it really isn’t so bad. Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon was a bit disappointing. Audrey Tatou was her fabulous self, but her character in the movie didn’t seem as independent as the one in the book.

Played some poker, well Dre played and I watch Prison Break and Chris Rock (Teee heee heee). Till really late.

On Sunday, went to a sale bought a new pair of boots only to find out last night while trying them on at home that the left leg is a size 5 and the right is a 4, gonna have to return them L, it was the last pair so someone is walking around with a left size 4 and a right 5. Then we went to the Good Food and Wine Festival at the CTICC. Ate lots of stuff. There were tons of cool exciting food items. The best thing I tried out was some organic dark chocolate, just the right level of bitter, and hint of sweetness. Although I work in Stellenbosch (a.k.a. wine Capital of SA) I don’t really like wine, so I guess the wine displays were wasted on me. I did get a cool glass, though.

Much thanks to a super hero of note my best friend Dr.D, who helped me get some perspective on the IT situation. I have decided to continue as before, ignoring him. I cannot accept his apology as it was forced, but I will concede that it was an apology. I’m still not sure if I want to send him an email reply. I will post the email I would like to send tomorrow. Back to doing what I actually get paid for.

What to do?

I’m having a bit of a moral dilemma. I got this email yesterday afternoon from IT (this was after I had gone home):

As you know, about three weeks ago [the Boss Lady] spoke with me about certain parts of my behaviour affecting everyone in the office. She had a list of specific things that she mentioned to me that were upsetting, disturbing or annoying to the four people around me.

Since then I have apologised to [White Boy], [FiFi] and [Mo] about these things and asked that they let me know in the future if I do these things, as they’re obviously happening subconsciously since I’m not intentionally trying to upset anyone.

I am 100% fault for not apologising to you after the long weekend when we all got back. I intended to after speaking with [the Boss Lady] but I chose rather to just try not to upset you (stop tapping my feet, thinking out loud) rather than apologise. I hoped this would work, but in retrospect I have not been fair. I’m writing this e-mail not because I was prompted to by anyone, but because you deserve an apology. I understand why you would want to change our transport arrangements because of it and I’m sorry that happened if that’s the reason.

I have never meant to upset you from the beginning and I’m not sure whether this e-mail will upset you more since I’m not doing this in person (I hope it won’t). I’m not doing this in person because I don’t know whether it will end well if we spoke. I hope this is the better option and that afterwards we can speak about it if you still want to.

You were very kind to me from the beginning of my work here and I want you to know I’m grateful to you for it. Please accept my apology and let me know if we can talk about it. I hope we can start over.

Firstly I’m not sure if this is sincere, but FiFi says she thinks it is. That bit about not being prompted to apologise is a load of crap, he has already admitted that the Boss Lady told him that he was bothering us (I think that qualifies as a prompt, see 1st paragraph). My birthday is coming up and the Boss Lady asked what arrangements have been made, the team usually buy a gift and go for lunch. FiFi told her that I didn’t want him contributing and that I didn’t want him at the lunch. The Boss Lady was very disappointed with this and FiFi said she spoke to IT again and asked if he had spoken to me.

Why apologise to everyone but me? Surely he must know that we talk to each other, and that I would know that he had spoken to them. As you can tell I’m still very upset about all of this. I’m not sure if I should believe this and bury the hatchet or ignore this email completely and continue as before, or call him out on the inaccuracies. The sceptic in me keeps seeing all the problems in this email. I’ll be honest I cannot be objective in this regard; my hatred is actually blinding me. I really wish the adult in me would come out say: “well let’s give him a shot”. I know I don’t have to be friends with him but for the sake of my sanity perhaps I should speak to him. This all is coming on the back of me reaching the stage where I’ve gotten so good at ignoring him that I don’t see him when I walk past him. Any suggestions?

I really hate being censored, so to the persons who asked me not to include this email, you know what I’m like...

ARRGH!!!

The good feeling that I carried from the weekend did not make the journey into today and so I shall continue Friday’s rant about IT.

About three weeks ago we (the team) had our PA’s, in which I laid my feelings about IT out. I spent a sizable chunk of my time with the Boss Lady telling her about why I was unhappy at work. She said that she noticed that my personality had changed since Jan, no shit Sherlock, I wonder what could have happened in Jan. So eventually IT has his PA and she tells him that he needed to sort his shit out with the rest of the team. He decides to speak to each member of the team individually (I think it was a divide and conquer strategy), while I was away on vacation. When I get back, I hear about their discussions with IT and how he was so sorry (BLAH, BLAH), and so I’m expecting him to talk to me. It is now the third week and he has yet to speak too me. Here I am thinking he is going to apologise, and I had planed a whole speech about what I was going to say. It was along the lines of “I don’t accept your apology because you are only apologising because the boss asked you to…” I was clearly not planning to rollover and play nice, but I never got my shot.

Last Thursday things came to a head, when the elevator doors closed on me as we were leaving the building (the whole team was there), everyone else was worried about me being hurt but that fucken bitch was laughing. I know that I should have expected this, but it really pissed me off. I don’t think I mentioned this but I travelled to work with him and White Boy (because we save on petrol that way). So for the entire drive home I’m trying desperately to pretend that he does not exist, but he keeps on tapping his keys so I turn up the music and he just taps louder. I get home really miserable and the boyfriend phones and I tell him about what has happened, and we get into a fight about IT (I won’t go into details). Now this upsets me further because now I see that he has been really affecting my personal life. I made a decision that in order to maintain a level of sanity I’ve got to have some time between work and home when I don’t have to be around him. So I sent him this email:

After much consideration (didn’t really take me that long) I'm afraid that our traveling arrangement no longer suits me and as a result I have decided to terminate the arrangement and drive in on my own. I have already sent [White Boy] an email similar to this and he has decided that he would prefer to travel with me as we have similar timetables after work. As this coming week is the beginning of a new cycle for the lift club, it will make no financial difference to any of us if it is terminated starting this coming Monday (15/05/2006).

He never emailed back or mentioned it to White Boy or me (well I don’t talk him at all). I thought he would of emailed back with an ok or something. Thank goodness for read receipts or I would have never know that he had read it. I am happy to report that I no longer start my day on a bad note or end it that way. Which makes for a much happier Spice.
Original art work contributed by White Boy.

Memoirs of a Steamy Picasso

I had a really great weekend, which made me forget why I was so angry on Friday. I would like to keep that feeling for today at least, so I’m not going to continue my bitch about IT, but I’ll tell you about my cool weekend.

Friday - Dezza sent out an email invite for the movies. The boyfriend and I accepted and we were going to meet him at Canal Walk, turns out plans had changed and the venue had changed (Thanks, Dezza!!), with no time too catch up with the rest, the boyfriend and I went ahead and watched “Memoirs of a Geisha”. Not really his type of movie (romance/period piece), but he was a sport, I don’t think he fell asleep once. I on the other hand I completely enjoyed it, I like the whole oriental thing, the colours, veiled looks and flattering eye lashes. If you like sweeping romances then I recommend this movie. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy my skop, skit and donder movies…

On Saturday we watched a decent soccer match. Ok so Liverpool fans will say that it was an amazing match that won them the FA Cup. I will admit that Stevie G’s goal was brilliant. In the evening we had dinner with a bunch of cool people at Marimba’s at the ICC. It was nice to meet new people, so I must thank Nova for organising this event.

Most of Sunday was spent trying out my new steam cleaner that the boyfriend bought for me. I wanted it because I saw it an info-mercial, he did not buy it to stop me from shopping and get me cleaning, like he thinks. But its such a cool toy, I can steam my clothes on the hanger (no more running around in the morning), defrost the fridge in 7 minutes and sanitise the stove really quickly, not that it was ever my hearts desire to sanitise the stove before I got the steamer, but I can and in the end that’s all that matters. Needless to say I spent many hours messing around with it. The actually reason for the purchase was to get rid of some mildew in the bathroom that was eating away at the back of my mind, not sure if I got around to that (it’s all a blur of steam).

I did take a break to see an exhibition for Picasso and Africa at the Iziko National Gallery. It was not mind blowing, maybe because we missed the tour and some of the stuff that was on display were probably rough sketches. But there was a side exhibition for Indian artists, which was really good.

There I said it!!! I Hate You!!!!

I’ve had it!!! I hate the little fucker!!! In fact I’m willing to pay top dollar to watch someone torture him. I speak of IT (the irritating turd at the office). I know the rest of the team will agree with what I’m about to say.

My dad used to tell me that I should never use the word hate for someone that I don’t like. But dad I’ll really hate him, and I’m sure that the use of this word is relevant.

But first let me set the stage for this bit of bitching. I know that most all of my friends and my long-suffering boyfriend have heard this bitch 12 million times but I don’t care. I want the world to know what a colossal ass this person is so that if anyone ever had the misfortune of coming across him and they have a rifle at hand they can shoot first and ask questions later.

IT started working at our fine establishment on the 2nd of Jan (so I’ve been putting up with his shit for 4 and a bit months now). He is the single most annoying person I have ever (I mean EVER) met. He is arrogant, he taps, he talks to himself, he drinks water from these noisy bottles (they make this fucking awful sucking sound), he rolls around the office (he has actually rolled into another room) and he is over paid and under worked (earns far more than I do but we do the same work, ok, so IT has more qualifications than I do but he does earn more than what the market is paying). He requires spoon-feeding for simple tasks and then still manages to fuck up. He gets 38 days of study leave (some of which I’m pretty sure he used to test drive cars) above his normal leave and he also gets certain religious holidays off (this one is for FiFi). He has the social skills of a serial killer. I goggled him and he is admittedly really intelligent, but that is no excuse for being a prat.

You’re probably thinking but that does not qualify for hatred status but there is more, oh yes there is.

We took a month of the above before we reach the edge. Why did we wait a month, well everyone takes about a month to find their groove, make friends and play nice, we gave him that much. We asked the Boss Lady what we should do; she suggested that we tell him in a “joking fashion” that he was irritating the shit out of us. So after much consultation with the boyfriend, we struck upon a plan. As the talking to himself was the most annoying (at the time) we decided to attack that directly and let the correction of the other stuff follow shortly. So the next morning when he started talking to himself I asked if he was talking to me, and he said no that he was talking to himself. Then I said: “I want you to think about what you just said”. Everyone laughed including him and he stopped doing it for a while. Fifi was so happy she said that she was gonna buy the boyfriend chocolates for coming up with the plan. After lunch he started talking to himself again. I called him from my line (we play pranks on each other all the time) and I said: “so you're not on the phone but talking to yourself again.” Everyone else laughed but he went off. He said that if I didn't have anything constructive to say that I should l not bother him cause he's very busy (which I will add is a load of bull because 5 minutes after that he was reading emails and sending them to us). Needless to say I took offence to this and the general atmosphere in the office went from hopeful and cheery to the environment of doom and gloom that it now is…more on Monday.

Office Peeps and a White Boy Quote

I work with a great bunch of people, well with the exception of one (but that bit of bitching is for another blog). They are:

• White Boy, who thinks he’s my boss, but is actually my fellow Spanish learner, travel buddy, cubicle neighbour, almanac of all things to do with access, single and looking, and he’s an actuary (which makes him prime property in my books, once again a test will have to be passed, but it won’t be as hard as Dezza’s because…well he’s white and easy) Send all CV’s to me and include a picture;
  
• Mo, who torments me daily, but is actually a nice guy;
  
• FiFi, a fellow sufferer, she’s over worked and under paid, but she’s a super hottie and excellent pole dance instructor (check out her website here), and knows everything about word and excel;
  
• The Boss Lady, who sometimes is the villain of the piece but she occasionally gives us Friday afternoons off which makes her a special person in my eyes; and last and definitely least
  
• IT / Weasel / Asshole / Tool / Donut / Idiot / Fuck Head /…well you get the picture. I really hate his fool.
  

Anyway, I thought I should intro them as they may feature in this blog. Almost all of them chose what they would like to be called.

Now, to this blogs feature presentation. Yesterday White Boy and I were on our way to the basement, when we walked past the desk of a recently fired secretary. Now her name is…well its really funny, and leaves me wondering if parents actually think about the teasing possibilities attached to a name. Her name is Eurea (pronounced Ew-rea, I think). The possibilities are endless. This is what White Boy had to say:“I wonder who they’ll get to replace Euera. Maybe they’ll get a man named Eurine.” Yes, I know it’s a Friday afternoon kinda funny but that’s the White Boy for you.

Birthday Salutations

Happy Birthday to my favourite flat mate, Dezza. Any fine females willing to go through a stringent test to date this stud (and super nice guy), please send all applications to me.

One day I will find you!!

To the evil bastard who discarded their chewed bubble gum in my path, only to have me walk in it, although now it looks like I danced and did a pirouette in it and then ran through gravel coating the underside of my shoe with stones. It was my favourite pair of shoes, damn it. I quite simply wish serious lockjaw on you. If I had the resources that they do on CSI I would extract your DNA from the bubble gum, find you and torment you for the rest of your natural life. But I don’t have those resources. I will bid my time and wait until I win the lottery, then your evil ass is mine.

I tried, in vain, for 6.5 minutes (ok, so not really a long time) to remove it, but that shit is bonded to my shoe. I googled "ways to remove bubble gum from shoes", and all I got was use peanut butter. I don't keep peanut butter at my desk (although I do have golden syrup, I wonder if that will work). Maybe I could ask the office peeps if anyone brought peanut butter for lunch and then smear the sandwich under my shoe (hmmm).

In the end my therapist would say: "that sort of anger could not merely come from having bubble gum under your shoe, what's really the problem here?" I’m feuding with the mommy.

Howzit

After months of contemplating whether I should inflict my thoughts upon other people. I have finally decided to take the plunge and do this thing. I do hope that like all my other attempts to keep a diary or track of my life this does not fizzle out because I'm bored.

So I'm Spice (I will post a picture soon, when I figure out how to work this). I got the name from a group of friends at varsity, whom I'm still very tight with. It initially started as "Spice Gold" but has gone through many evolutions, one being Spicey Ricey from my best friend Dr. D. Spice has nothing to do with me being Indian (a South African Indian that is), and any reference to chilli powder but I do think that my personality is a bit spicy. I live in the most beautiful place in the world Cape Town (CT), but I work in wine country, otherwise called Stellenbosch (another beautiful place), 50 km's away from CT (and where I live, yes I drive out everyday). Oh, and I have just started learning Spanish.