Fireman Spice reporting for duty plus 1 mis-adventure

Fireman Spice:

Last Monday and Tuesday I went on a Fire Warden course for work...no I did not learn how to slide down a poll (everyone keeps asking me this), they have poll dancing lessons for that :) I learned how to put out fires and how to evacuate people. I put out 5 fires on my own over the two days. On the last day we went into a simulation with real fires (not CGI) in full gear, breathing tanks and everything. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done.

I was scared out of my bracket. They wouldn't let me call my mom and tell her where I left the life insurance policy. Just between us I have never prayed as hard in a 20 minute spell as I did during that simulation. I was shaking so badly after, that I could barely drive and true to form I got a call from work, which quickly changed the adrenalin pumping through me to anger. Resulting in me driving away from the training centre like a maniac. In my haste to leave I didn't notice that the licence plate from my had car fallen off at the training centre.

The Mis-adventure:

What I did not mention was that while I was on this course there was a cute instructor...A fine specimen of man, plus he has a motor cycle...how hot is that?!! I did not say or do anything to him, accept try to grab his ass in a smoke filled room (but I was pretty disorientated so I was groping around for anything). Actually I flirted a little (not in the smoke filled room but outside in fresh air), something new for me. Clearly the licence plate falling of was a happy co-incidence because it afforded me the chance to go back and see him. So yesterday I went back to the training centre to pick it up. Ok, I realise that my licence plate falling of is not really a happy co-incidence but it's been 6 months since I've had any man action.

When I first got there I got my licence plate from him (he was alone) and got back in the car drove for about 10 min telling myself what an idiot I was for not giving him my phone number or saying anything. During this bit of self loathing, the left side of my brain hatched a cock-and-bull story about having a meeting at Canal Walk and needing to get on to the N1 (a national road) and getting lost.

Don't ask me how the left side of my brain convinced the rest of me but I turned the car around and went back. I get back to the training centre and I couldn't see him so I go to the office and eventually they get him and this other guy to explain to me. Just before I leave I turn around while the other guy is standing there and I give him the piece of paper with my number on it and told him to call me and ran.

Yes, I ran. In fact I ran like a girl. I doubt he will call. He might after all have a girlfriend or be married or just not interested etc. Chances are I'll never see him again. So what really did I have to lose. But he was cute (especially in the firemans outfit) and it would be really nice if he called.

XBox Wishes and iPod Dreams

This is a tale of my attempt at staying up for 25 hours and then some.

Dees mom won a competition on 5FM (a very cool radio station). The prize was two tickets to the Bar-One Toffee Krisp (a very nice chocolate) 25 Hour Party, including airfare there and back and a chance to win an XBox 360. She was nice enough to give the tickets to Dees who invited me along (because I am currently the closest thing to a single guy friend that he has). I think it's important to mention that Dees mom is incredibly lucky because she was also a winner in the Durban leg of the competition. Those tickets went to Ajay and Desiree (some very cool relatives of Dees who made this experience fun, pictured below).

So the Party was to start at 11:00am in Jozi (Johannesburg), which meant that Dees and I had to be up at 6am to catch our flight that left CT at 08:30am. While on the flight we didn't get much sleep because we met Amy, a 12 year old who has been in more relationships than Dees and I put together. So naturally the late bloomers spent the 2 hour flight seeking sage advise from someone more experienced.

When we arrived at the venue we were each given tickets that had to be clipped every two hours (which just meant chasing the MC around most of the night, while he drank and spaded every chick in sight). We were told that at the end of the party all the tickets with 12 holes would be collected and used in the draw for the XBox. Stay awake and win a XBox, easier said than done. So of we go to party, most of which was outside under a tent over tennis courts.

Let me just say that the Bar-One people made sure that there was enough of everything, from the time we got there the drinks were flowing, if you smoked and didn't have any they provided, the place had chocolates everywhere (oddly enough there were none left when it was time to leave). Dees being the hedonist that he is dove straight in with gusto and I decided to pace myself (after trying out the various XBox games set out for our entertainment on the prettiest high definition tv's). I really wanted to win. XBox games, alcohol and our own company was not the only form of entertainment provided. The Bar-One people had arranged for four bands and various dj's to entertain us: 'Desmond and the Tutus' (a cool band), Tumi (from 'Tumi and the Volume', really cool hip-hop group), '340ml' (reggae band, the lead singer is cute), the Parlotones (awesome rock band). My favourites were the Parlotones (see picture below) and Tumi. The great thing was that after they had performed they hung out at the party with the rest of us.


Oh, and we did get food, lunch, supper and breakfast.

At the height of the party there were probably more than 300 people there, but at 4am when the Jozi cold set in the only people left were those that couldn't go home, i.e. the CT and Durbs peeps.

So what happened if you got tired. Well there was a "chill" room, filled with foam matrices, bean bag chairs, games, cards and Bar-One chocolates. Dees after reaching new levels of intoxication used this room relatively often (he got at least 7 hours sleep at the party). I on the other hand could not sleep, I have a thing about foreign places but that didn't stop me from getting in 20 minutes on a bean bag when my eyelids rebelled and closed after being awake for 25 hours. Very few people actually managed to survive without nipping of for a nap. In fact at about 6am people were sprawled out everywhere, it looked like a movie.

Dees and I after 14 hours...


Did I have fun? Hell yes!! Were there points when I would of preferred my bed? Hell yes. Especially when the temperature started dropping, and the only warm place was under one of the three outdoor heaters. It all got a bit tedious after a while, but I soldiered on.

At one point a poker game broke out. What was the minimum bet? One Bar-One Toffee Krisp choc. The picture below is of a poker game at 7am, this time we had to use Monopoly money.


We met tons of great people but Cindy and Caleb (below) here were by far the most friendly and I'll definitely be keeping in contact with them.


I met this nice young (18) man, Johnathan (I think, I was 3 apple martini's down by then) at the fire side. I liked his tie.


Eventually, after all was said and done. The draw happened and it turned out that there were four prizes, a XBox bag, some music gift vouchers, a 30Gig iPod and iTrip and the XBOX 360. In the end my efforts to win the XBox were in vain, but I did win something. This chick walked away with the iPod and iTrip but forgot to get a picture (because she was so excited about actually winning something). The iPod is now called the spicePOD.

By the time I actually got some sleep I had been up for 37 hours.

Congrats Fifi and an Update on the Technical Mis-adventure

The co-worker from the previous blog is engaged. He proposed to someone this weekend. So that would make it about 2 months after he professed his love for me. Stranger things have happened. Feel like I dodged a bullet, with my lightening fast Jet Li reflexes. I'll let you know if there are any further changes to the status quo.

By the way, that light refracting group of ice-bergs belongs to Fifi (and not the strange co-workers new fiancée). Apparently it sparkles a lot more in person. Sorry gents that lovely lady is of the market and I for one am very happy for her, but I don't think the male population in CT share this sentiment.

A Technical Mis-adventure

In Jan this year Dre and I decided to technically take a break, this was before the actual break-up. I say technically, because we were still together but were apart. Basically we were starting off again, going on dates, more especially not spending every free moment together. This clearly didn't work out but that is not the mis-adventure alluded to in the title.

During this period I decided do things that I ordinarily wouldn't of done had we been together (in a non-technical sense). So when I co-worker invited me to a house party, I initially was not interested but I thought what the hell it could be fun and you could meet some new people other than the usual crew. Now I didn't go into this unprepared, I had plans to hang out with a friend of mine and watch Prison Break later on. I called my friend and told him where I was going, so if the party was dull I could kick it with a reasonable excuse. The excuse being an sms from my friend at a pre-arranged time.

When I arrived at the party I was under the impression that I was not the only person from the Big Green that would be there, turns out I was wrong. At this point it is worth mentioning that the co-worker is male and was relatively drunk, I'm thinking no big deal it is party after all. So the co-worker puts his arm around me and takes me in to introduce me to some of the people that were there.

After a bit he takes me aside and starts talking to me. This is where things start venturing into the realms of X-files. He tells me that he's in love with me, that he's felt this way for a while, and that when he found out that Dre and I were on a break he thought that this was his chance. That he knows its difficult with us working so close together (about 3 feet apart, in fact) but we can make it work. I'm trying to let him of easy because I had to work with him on Monday, otherwise I would of been outta there. I was totally not interested (besides I was still technically with Dre). So he asks for a hug (very few people in this world are privileged enough to say they have received a hug from me), so I say ok in an attempt to end the conversation and leave. While he's hugging me he starts whispering in my ear, at this point I push him away and say "back off".

Blinding panic strikes. I pick up my phone and pretend that I'm checking my messages and give my friend a missed call. Shortly I get my required rescue text asking me where I was. I say I've got to go, because I promised I'd be there. He asks me to give him a ride to the store to get smokes, I say ok, and off we go. I did this because at the time it seemed like it was the only way I was getting out of there. While on the way to the store he asks me to have breakfast with him the next day so he can explain that he had to drink so that he would have the courage to tell me. I swiftly pull the "I have church card" (thank god, literally and figuratively). He persists, at which point I tell him sms me and if I'm free I'll come by. We get the cigarettes, and while we are there he's trying to hold my hand and pull me close to him, and the idiot before him in the checkout line is taking forever.

Eventually I drop him off, and he gets out and stands at the drivers side, and starts holding my hand, so I tell him I've really got to go and try and pull my hand away. In slurry speech he says let me give you a kiss on the cheek first. Now, a million things are going through my mind and I was under pressure, so I said ok. He leans in and tries to make a quick move for my lips. Thank goodness my body was still functioning, because my mind had switched off. I pulled away, with a speed that would of made Jet Li proud. I say I wish he hadn't done that because I don't think we could be friends now and that I respect him as I work colleague and that's all I see him as. So I pull away and threw in some screeching tyres to complete the effect.

I drive home like a nut and try to regain consciousness. Just before I get in, my Prison Break friend calls to find out what happened. I tell him the whole story. I can hear furniture crashing along with the insane laughter. I get in and completely pulled a Home Alone, AHHAHH. I tell Dees, who has a similar reaction to my buddy.

He thankfully didn't call on Sunday. Monday morning was incredibly awkward. He tried to talk to me several times but I ignored him. Eventually I sent him an email and told him to call me in the evening. I told, him once again that I was not interested and that I could only see him as a co-worker. The force is still not balanced in the office.

Where in the world was Spice?

Firmly wedged under the Big Green thumb. If you need to reach me I'm still there, I manage to get lose sometimes for a bit of pee and chat with my buddies.

I've been coming in to work early and leaving late everyday and every few weekends you can find me at my desk (not messing around but doing actual work!!). Since work is the only place I have access to the internet and I have had no time to pee on most days, it is quite understandable that I would have no time to blog :(

So a recap on all the stuff that has been happening or happened to me:

1. I broke up with Dre about a month ago. Now before you go shouting at me and saying things like: "He took you to Europe women! No one lets go of a good man like that." I'm just going to say that stuff happens, this was a difficult decision and that I'm constantly wondering if I made the right choice but it is a choice I have to live with. I will always love him and we have agreed to be friends. He really is an awesome guy. I haven't been single in 5 years, not once. Yes, we were together for 5 years. I'm not too sure how things work in the single world, so you will definitely find out about my misadventures (if any). I'm gonna enjoy being on my own for a while.

2. I cooked my first Christmas lunch. This was a huge achievement and required many calls to my mom and aunt in Durbs. I think I pulled it off. Dees, who was my only guest, is still alive. I won't bore you with the details but there was smoked gammon and trifle.

3. The Big Green love my "dedication". Which translates into: "We have noticed the slave hours you have been working and appreciate it. So we are offering you a permanent position (I was a contract employee) with a few more peanuts to keep you happy and lock you in". This is effective 1 March 2007. I don't think I mentioned that I like my job, I'm gonna like it even more at the end of this month when the extra peanuts come in. I hate the hours I keep, but everyday there is something new. In addition, I'll be in training for the next year to take over my boss’s position.

4. I went on this supper cool "Mole" weekend. The format is based on the reality/game show called "The Mole", you can read about here if you don't know what it is. I did not win because I got played really badly by the person who was the mole. It was a mentally and physically draining weekend, but I had a really great time and I met some fab people. If I get time I'll blog about that sometime.

5. I have been going to church relatively regularly and I go to a home group. No, they haven't taken over my mind. I'm going for two reasons, to make mommy happy and to figure out stuff. The making mommy happy part is being fulfilled but I'm nowhere near figuring out anything.

6. Poor eating habits rein supreme. I have discovered a place that sells arguably the saltiest egg fried rice on the planet. I love salt. This stuff is my cocaine.

7. I might be going of to the Far East in July with Dr D and her fam. I really hope that does not fall through.

9. Go try out this really cool site. Visual DNA.

Otherwise I'm getting by. Hopefully I get a chance to blog more.

Winning Ways

I have never won a thing in my life. In fact until a week ago I had never won a single game of Monoploy before. A few months ago BP, a petrol peddler (one of the nicer salary sucking giants), had a competition to win a Golf GTI.

Some background info is necessary. I drive a 1300 2005 Toyota Tazz, for those who don’t understand what that translates to, it means cheap and slow, but hey she’s my babe, and she’s got a great sound system. I have designs that I’m a pretty good driver, and I get pretty pissed off when I get cut off by those expensive car-driving arseholes and I can’t follow them and run them off the road because I just don’t have the fire power under the bonnet. Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

So anyway the opportunity to win a pretty fast car intrigued me and I only ever fill up at BP, I felt they owed me one. So I entered the competition, a few hundred times, I forget the actual number, but it was somewhere in the region of 450 handwritten entry forms. Ordinarily I would not have filled in so many, but the first time I pulled into the station and asked for one the attendant gave me about 70, so I figured this must be a sign. With all the vigor of a 5 year old on Christmas morning I filled in my first set of entry forms (this all happened during my unemployed days, so plenty of time while I ploughed through the Smallville series). On every form I would keep thinking this is the one, or I hope they pick this one because my handwriting is really neat on this one. All the while dreaming off how I would avenge all those slow car drivers who had been cut off, like a super hero, GTI Girl, they would call me. At the same time I was fending of carpal tunnel syndrome. I even had a distribution technique; I dropped off entries at every BP station in my area. If I happened to be in another area I would stop by drop some off and pick up a fresh load. If the entry forms were left out I would take a whole bunch, and would laugh with my inside voice and say SUCKERS!!

The hope!

The winner of this competition was to be announced last weekend. I didn’t get call…I can’t tell you how disappointed I am, 450 entries damn it. The least they could of done was give me a call or give me something a windscreen wiper! Anything! The thing that would piss me of even more would be if the winner eventually says that they only entered a few times. To be honest I would never admit it to BP the number of times I had entered. So my super hero dreams have been dashed, and to rub salt in the wound this idiot in a Ford Fiesta ST cut me off yesterday (almost sent me of the road without indicating) and then drove off into the distance. GRRRRR.

Things are looking up though I have won something from the Big Green. A lanyard (that I found out to my disappointment is a keyholder chain, see picture below) and this sad CD holder (it's the green man, and is only for the CD's who's cover you've lost).

Glass Shuddering Air Show

So this weekend was a long weekend, in fact the last one for a while. We all had grand schemes for it, all of which fell flat when Saturday rolled in. However this is not the main event of this post, this is:

On Sunday the extremely exciting air show was on in Ysterplat and Deeza, Dre and I went off to visit Nova at his newly purchased and newly built abode, which offered a view of the air show. On the way there we witnessed the aerial acrobatics of the fighter jets, all of this started to increase my expectations of how cool it would be to actually watch it instead of driving. Eventually we get there, and instead of first dispensing with the usual grand tour, I headed straight for the patio so I can watch said air show. Ordinarily this would not be a problem but add sunglasses and a glass patio door into the mix and things could get bloody. Anyways while running full tilt to the patio I hit the glass door and in my inside voice said: “splat”, while my nose was squashed. Now a few things run through your throbbing head when something like this happens:

• FUUUCKKK did anyone see or hear me; of course they did they are all in the same room as you donut.
  SPLAT
• FUUUCCCKKKKKK
• I want my mommy; I’m Indian this thought is natural.
• My personal fav, I think I broke my nose, and I’m going to be ugly and deformed.

The cavalry came too survey the scene with me saying, “I think I broke my nose”. I only said this because I saw my own blood, which turned out to be a cut I got from my sunglasses. Anyways after I stopped tearing (I did not cry! I saved that for my mom) the cavalry broke out into giggles. It was actually pretty funny. We have all received and forwarded video clips with people going splat but when you are the one going splat it really makes you feel for those people. So if you care anything for me at all spare a thought for those poor splat people the next time I forward you one of those videos, then you can laugh your ass of.