I’ve had it!!! I hate the little fucker!!! In fact I’m willing to pay top dollar to watch someone torture him. I speak of IT (the irritating turd at the office). I know the rest of the team will agree with what I’m about to say.
My dad used to tell me that I should never use the word hate for someone that I don’t like. But dad I’ll really hate him, and I’m sure that the use of this word is relevant.
But first let me set the stage for this bit of bitching. I know that most all of my friends and my long-suffering boyfriend have heard this bitch 12 million times but I don’t care. I want the world to know what a colossal ass this person is so that if anyone ever had the misfortune of coming across him and they have a rifle at hand they can shoot first and ask questions later.
IT started working at our fine establishment on the 2nd of Jan (so I’ve been putting up with his shit for 4 and a bit months now). He is the single most annoying person I have ever (I mean EVER) met. He is arrogant, he taps, he talks to himself, he drinks water from these noisy bottles (they make this fucking awful sucking sound), he rolls around the office (he has actually rolled into another room) and he is over paid and under worked (earns far more than I do but we do the same work, ok, so IT has more qualifications than I do but he does earn more than what the market is paying). He requires spoon-feeding for simple tasks and then still manages to fuck up. He gets 38 days of study leave (some of which I’m pretty sure he used to test drive cars) above his normal leave and he also gets certain religious holidays off (this one is for FiFi). He has the social skills of a serial killer. I goggled him and he is admittedly really intelligent, but that is no excuse for being a prat.
You’re probably thinking but that does not qualify for hatred status but there is more, oh yes there is.
We took a month of the above before we reach the edge. Why did we wait a month, well everyone takes about a month to find their groove, make friends and play nice, we gave him that much. We asked the Boss Lady what we should do; she suggested that we tell him in a “joking fashion” that he was irritating the shit out of us. So after much consultation with the boyfriend, we struck upon a plan. As the talking to himself was the most annoying (at the time) we decided to attack that directly and let the correction of the other stuff follow shortly. So the next morning when he started talking to himself I asked if he was talking to me, and he said no that he was talking to himself. Then I said: “I want you to think about what you just said”. Everyone laughed including him and he stopped doing it for a while. Fifi was so happy she said that she was gonna buy the boyfriend chocolates for coming up with the plan. After lunch he started talking to himself again. I called him from my line (we play pranks on each other all the time) and I said: “so you're not on the phone but talking to yourself again.” Everyone else laughed but he went off. He said that if I didn't have anything constructive to say that I should l not bother him cause he's very busy (which I will add is a load of bull because 5 minutes after that he was reading emails and sending them to us). Needless to say I took offence to this and the general atmosphere in the office went from hopeful and cheery to the environment of doom and gloom that it now is…more on Monday.
No comments:
Post a Comment